I am politely pissed off

Just arrived home from a mad episode of road rage and I am writing to say how pissed I am with a completely wasted day off work.

The sun was shining and I was looking forward to a good fun day out and maybe do something creative, instead I ended up being carried around like a vegetable. Having to silently socialise with people I don't really know and don't really wanna know; and then sit and waste for another hour or two or three with a polite smile.

Pissed pissed PISSED off with bothering to try just so my only day off work could be wasted on being stuck to someones agenda when I DONT FUCKING WANNA !

Its seven in the evening and what did I do today?
I WATCHED PAINT DRY

London Christmas Gathering

So the gathering left me looking like a hangover at work the next day and I wish there was more to just saying 'wow what a great time I had' but you would have had to be there to know how it was.

Thank Chad and Steve for the miracle of YouTube, the videos are great to look back on and see what the gathering was like. I'm still practising at video blogging and after alot of refined editing I still think my vid could have been better. I seem to do better at written blogs but I know I can do a real good video blog too, I just get stage fright when the recording goes live.
Somehow live capture on the YouTube site makes live blogs seem a whole lot better coz when you record live theres no going back. My camcorder on the other hand just reminds me I can always edit over mistakes and most of the time I do end up making mistakes and editing mistakes.





Its gatherings like this that put things into perspective, when you see cool people on YouTube its like watching your idols. And then you see them casually at a gathering and before you know it you've made friends with them.
To abruptley change the subject I think I will actually video blog this topic and post it on YouTube. Its not often I talk about something meaningful so this would be a good start.

Like I was saying, YouTube really brings people together and anyone who says that gatherings are for geeky computer nerds with no life are seriously missing out. My weekend out in London has been some of the most fun I had in a long time.

Anyways, I need to catch up on some good sleep for the rest of work this week.
The time is 01:21 and i'm off to sleep, Goodnight !

I love/hate YouTube! (and my job)

Guessing from the title this is a complete rant about YouTube and this love/hate relationship I have with the thing.

One thing you can count on is that YouTube videos will load so slow that you will have to pause it yourself just to watch them. At first I thought it was my broadband connection, but no; I have more luck watching videos on MySpace and MetaCafe than on the almighty YouTube.

Second thing is with subscribers that come and go. At one point I was on 510 subscribers now I'm back down to 507. The wise and popular YouTube king Renetto once said that the number of subscribers you have is quite simply a number and it doesn't mean how popular you are.
I know this is true but to me that number is like how many special points (or kudos) I have and they mean alot to me; even Renetto himself seems to be begging for people to subscribe.

Third thing that I find hard is actually blogging. Some people make some really cool vids and really do deserve their popularity, but when I start recording I just become fake. I cant just be myself, my tone of voice goes into 'chatshow host' mode and everything I say becomes rehearsed to a point where I compulsivley repeat myself - to a point where I have to repeat what I say in a better way - repeating repeating repeating til I just cant stop like a frekking Pringles advert.

I think its fair to blame this on my job. The constant drag of handling rude 'wankstained' customers is killing me softly making me more angry and handling hundreds of calls every hour of evey day gives me no inspiration to be creative.
This is why I love YouTube, its a place to find inspiration from peoples videos and to then broadcast yourself in the most creative and original way possible.

I gotta get out of this call center, my job is turning me into a bitter person. Today I been in a foul mood and its a SUNDAY! one of the easiest days of the week and I cracked at another incompatent customer.
Heres an example of how stupid the customer was and how this makes me angry:
A customer asks for a takeaway with a simple name like 'Ash Hill Balti House' on 'Windmill street'. I make the search and the only result for some 'Ash Hill Balti House' comes up on 'Sloane avenue'. Now I explain that the Sloane avenue take away is very close to Windmill street but despite that its the only exact result in town, they tell me i'm wrong and hang up.
Can you imagine working hard to make a real nice Birthday cake for a complete stranger and then they throw it back in your face? Thats what happens to me at least once a day.

There are two extremes here; through YouTube I see the beautiful world of an online community where people make friends and at work I see an almighty terd that is the great British public. People who often like to take a slimey verbal shit down your throat and all I can do is politely swallow with a smile.

Flashback Future - a working title film idea

So after watching a cool short film about a guy who can see things before it happens, I came up with a cool unique twist of my own. An idea that I dont think anyone has explored yet; although thats maybe coz its a pretty wackey and far fetched idea.

This film idea is a combination of movies like 'A Beautiful Mind' (Russell Crowe), 'Next' (Nicholas Cage) and 'Memento' (Christopher Nolan). To sum up the punch of the story, its about a dillusional guy (or even a girl) who believes to see flashbacks of moments in the future just before it happens. And the funny part is that these momentary glimpses into the future are actually happening in real time.

The hard part is to put this idea into a meaningful storyline that is either funny or serious but in such a way that it actually makes sense. I might actually make it a serious looking film but in a comical way.

I gotta work on this, but I thought it would be best to blog about it before I end up forgeting about the idea.

My job is driving me insane

INSANE I tell you!

Every crappy call ends by swallowing my anger and politely offering connection. I been working here for nearly 10 months now, I get alot of constapated anger bottled up inside me.

One day i'm gonna verbally murder a customer over the phone. I just hope it happens to some fool who actually deserves it.

I feel better now, thankyou for your call.

But really; I want to move on and find a job that is a more practical distance from home and more sociable compared to working on the phones, trying to educate customers who don't learn. I'd like to work somewhere more enjoyable prefferably in filmaking / production like that awesome time I had on Feral Generation. If not, maybe it would be nice to work somewhere simple like the Currys store in Ponty.

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Back to school

So now I find myself facing a very real reality of quitting my job at the call center, I never thought I would end up being there for nearly 10 months but what can I say...I was a victim of the almighty credit card and I had to pay it off.

Today I wrote alot of stuff in my notepad that I wanna share here on my blog, its kinda poetic but here goes: Release me from the shackles of this headset and rescue me from the dungeons of this call center so I can finally be free to......"118118 How may I help you?"

Its annoying that my mum keeps nagging me to get back into studies because it doesnt fell like my choice, but for a while now I have been looking to take up film studies - my passion in life to tell a story through the creative medium of film. YouTube has given me that opportunity and has got me so much recognition but like always, its not enough...I WANT MORE !

So i'm planning to take up a course in Ystrad college not just because my friend goes there but so I can get some decent grades to get into University. I could have made it the first time back in Sixth Form if i'd had taken my A Levels seriously but it also didnt help to have a lame Media teacher who was computer illiterate and fill your bag untill it was constipated with photocopies from books that you would never read. (well I would never read)

All thats left is to face the tricky task of explaining my resignation plans to my boss without any of those awkeward silences of DEATH.